How to get over fear

The common misconception is that you shouldn’t be afraid when it comes to taking action.

Especially with something that takes you outside of your comfort zone.

When you mention to someone that you want to do something. But you’re scared about doing it. They’ll give you some well intentioned, but terrible advice, like;

‘Don’t be afraid’ or ‘There’s nothing to be scared of’.

Because most people work on the assumption that you can turn fear off. And high achieving people have no fear because they’ve turned it off.

This is why fear is one of our most misunderstood emotions.

Which is a shame, because it holds so many people back from achieving their goals.

So I would like to help you understand fear.

You need to understand that the Palaeolithic software that our minds are running, is skewed towards fear.

Back in the day (hunter gatherer) fear was a more valuable emotion.

The cavemen that were fearful of the large shadow is the long grass. Lasted a lot longer than those caveman who weren’t that fussed.

The fearful would avoid the situation their ‘spidy senses’ alerted them to.

Whereas those that were fearless became the lunch of some prehistoric beast. And their genes would be unapologetically weeded out out of existence.

Which meant our ancestors survived, procreated and passed on their fear driven operating system.

Which means that fear will never go away.

It waits in the bushes for you!

And as soon as you try something outside of your comfort zone fear pops up. The red light that sees you jump on the brakes. And you stop yourself.

It feels like an automatic reaction. Like something you have no control over.

And after enough times of experiencing this, you form the belief of ‘I can’t do it because I’m afraid’.

Or ‘if I’m afraid, something’s not right and I shouldn’t do it’.

Here’s where I’m going to ask you to address what you currently understand about fear.

So you can get over it and start taking action!

When you’re about to do something outside of your comfort zone. It’s completely normal that fear pounces!

In fact it would be weird if you didn’t experience fear in that scenario. The absence of it means you likely have some abnormality.

(Or your ancestors where one of those Laissezfaire cavemen who luckily made it through).

I used to give into the fear a lot.

Over the years I missed out on countless opportunities from capitulating to this archaic software.

I’d find myself stuck. Wanting to take action, but too afraid.

Until someone helped me think about it differently.

Which changed everything!

And with this mindset I began doing things that fear had previously stopped me from doing.

Then as I became more confident with my updated software I started testing myself. Doing things to evoke the fear and see how easy I could push past it.

I took on the fear of being in front of a crowd of people wearing only my underwear (that all too familiar nightmare). Through doing a bodybuilding competition. Which saw me in shorts on stage in front of hundreds of people.

I got over my fear of swimming in the sea or any open water (probably from watching Jaws too young). Through open water swimming.

My fear of a getting in a fight through Boxing and Judo.

My fear of speaking in front of people through public speaking arrangements.

I was terrified before all of those events, but then I took that first step.

On to the stage,

into the lake,

into the ring

and soon onto the mountains (to take on my fear of heights).

Because as I’ve come to learn. As soon as you to take action…

…fear disappears!

And thanks to this new mindset I recognise that fear doesn’t mean I have to stop.

Because it’s not a red light…

…it’s an amber light!

And you have a choice to make when it appears.

You can stop which means the light goes red.

Or you can give yourself a green light and start doing the things you want to do!

The Disciplined Man 90 Day Coaching Program

How to naturally increase your dopamine levels.

Our hormones have a big impact on our emotional state, causing both good and bad mood patterns.

Regulating your hormones significantly improves and balances your emotional health.

There are a lot of things that you are doing throughout the day that have an affect on your hormones. Without you even realising.

Dopamine is a hormone that has a massive effect on us. It’s the chemical messenger in your brain that creates feelings of pleasure and reward. Which motivates you to repeat a specific behaviour.

And modern day temptations are very effective at giving us cheap dopamine hits. They are designed to elicit this ‘feel good’ sensation. It’s at the crux of their design and marketing.

Junk food, Porn, Social media, Booze, Nicotine. All elicit these cheap dopamine hits. And these temporary feel goods are very effective.

They target your weakness and keep you coming back for more.

Alcohol for confidence.

Nicotine anxiety.

Social media for boredom.

Junk food for lethargy.

Porn for arousal.

These acute ‘feel goods’ are so common yet so dangerous. Because use of these cheap dopamine hits results in;

Excessive binge eating,

Poor relationships,

Chronic stress,

High blood pressure,

and poor health.

These cheap dopamine hits are killing you!

And without without discipline, it can be very hard to turn down these temptations because they are so effective and immediate. They offer instant gratification to a problem.

And when you start to depend on them, it’s harder to rid yourself of them.

So rather than going cold turkey – which is incredibly hard. Replace them with natural things that you natural dopamine hits.

Swapping them, so your brain doesn’t really notice.

Imagine yourself as Indiana Jones, in Raiders of the Lost Ark, in the tomb swapping that Golden Idol for a bag of sand.

(but much easier and without the tomb kicking off and trying to kill you).

Here are some easy ways to do that!

Eat a high protein diet.

Proteins are made up of smaller building blocks called amino acids. One amino acid, called tyrosine, plays a critical role in the production of dopamine!

Probiotics

The gut and brain are closely linked. Certain species of bacteria that live in your gut are also capable of producing dopamine.

Exercise

Exercise can boost dopamine levels in the brain. Improvements in mood can be seen after as little as 10 minutes of activity but tend to be highest after at least 20 minutes.

Quality sleep

After poor sleep the availability of dopamine receptors in their brains is dramatically reduced by the next morning.

Getting regular, high quality sleep helps keep your dopamine levels balanced. And help you feel more alert and high functioning during the day

Music

Listening to music is an enjoyable way to stimulate dopamine release in your brain.

Listening to music increases activity in the reward and pleasure areas of the brain, rich with dopamine receptors.

Sunlight

Periods of low sunshine exposure can lead to reduced levels of mood-boosting neurotransmitters. Including dopamine. Sunlight exposure can increase them.

Start swapping the unnatural for the natural and I promise you’ll start to feel better.

How to increase your testosterone levels.

High testosterone is essential for a man, and if you aren’t optimising yours you’re leaving happiness and success on the table!

Healthy levels of testosterone are so important. For general health, disease risk, body composition, sexual function and just about everything else.

Additionally, increasing your testosterone levels can cause rapid gains in muscle mass and vitality in only a matter of weeks.

But how can you boost your testosterone levels? And how can you do it naturally so you can avoid hormone replacement therapy?

Let’s have a look at some lifestyle factors that will remedy the situation.

First up is exercise, to be more specific resistance training/weights.

People who lift have higher testosterone levels. Not does exercise increase testosterone levels, and fitness but also reaction times.

Factor into your week a minimum effective dosage. Resistance the urge to go full banana and instead commit to an amount of sessions you can realistically stick to. Even if only 2 sessions per week.

A Balanced diet,

to clarify, is eating enough protein, to aid satiety to aid weight loss, and muscle repair. Having enough carbohydrates also optimize testosterone levels during resistance training. And a balance of fats which are also beneficial for testosterone and health.

Combined with an energy target for your goal you will have a ‘REAL’ healthy diet.

Stress management

Natural elevations in cortisol can reduce testosterone. These hormones work in a seesaw-like manner: as one goes up, the other comes down.

Chronic stress and high cortisol can also increase food intake, weight gain, and the storage of fat around your organs.

This is why it is paramount you input into your day time for actions that will see you decompress, away from stressors and stimulation.

Sleep

Getting good sleep is as, if not more important for your health as diet and exercise. It also has major effects on your testosterone levels.

The ideal amount of sleep varies from person to person. But one study found sleeping only 5 hours per night caused a 15% reduction in testosterone levels!

This is why it would be prudent to implement a bedtime routine that will improve the duration and quality of your sleep. Why not set an alarm at the same time each day to start your bedtime routine

For more help with these lifestyle factors download a free copy of my guide The Gentleman’s Vitality Handbook

How do you have the energy?

Time, time, wherefore art thou time? The question we all ask when it comes to working on our personal goals, business and spending time with our loved ones.

But we know wishing and hoping for more time is futile, as you can’t increase the hours in the day!

But you can increase your energy levels. Which will see you function better and be more productive with the time you do have.

Managing and improving the quality of your time is paramount! As time is the most valuable commodity we have!

You cannot generate more of it (well, only through healthy living).

And how you spend it has a direct correlation on your happiness. Are you a master of your time? Or are you a slave to it?

Are you spending it in accorardance with what you want to achieve in life? Are the actions you take fall in line with reaching your true potential? Do you have the energy to do those things?

The people that are performing at their best. Those who are at the top of their game have an plenty of energy.

Having this energy allows them to perform at their best for longer and be more creative. They consistently execute.

They create this energy through fuelling themselves properly, training efficiently and resting appropriately.

Throw in drive and passion for their profession and they are unstoppable.

So I ask you; do you have the energy that you need to reach your true potential?

You vs The Monkey

Most guys know what to do but aren’t doing it.

This is why your health and fitness isn’t an information problem, it’s an implementation problem.

This means it’s less about the method and more about the mindset.

What you need to realize is, that making a transformation, one that will have you looking and feeling at your best. Is achieved through discipline.

I’m not talking about being perfect 24/7.

I’m saying that the majority of the decisions you make need to be in line with your goal. And the ones that aren’t don’t undo the work you’ve done.

It comes down to an internal battle between you and your monkey brain.

You see the monkey brain wants you to relax and take the easy option.

The monkey brain has a penchant for fornication, debauchery and immediate pleasure.

Do things that will provide it with stimulus and excitement (although they won’t be challenging or uncomfortable). This is why it’s so easy to plicate.

But after a while, of giving in to these cravings they leave you feeling a little hollow and disappointed.

Because once again you’ve been persuaded by the monkey. Who has led you astray.

Yeah, it was fun and you had a good laugh but that monkey has led you so far off course you’re now a bit lost.

You’re stumbling around trying to get back to the correct path. Cursing yourself for giving in to the petulant primate. Who keeps distracting you from not doing what you said you were going to do.

Frustrated you didn’t have the discipline to ignore that wretched beast and his easy enticements.

The thing is when you start out with addressing this the monkey brain, it isn’t a cute little Capuchin. No no no it’s an adult silverback gorilla.

It’s so powerful. You feel almost helpless when it comes to stopping it from doing what it wants.

But when you have a plan and some accountability that sees you build your discipline.

That is when you’ll start to see that monkey shrink. And so to its power over you. All the way until you have only a cute little Pygmy Marmoset to deal with.

It is at this point that you’ll be at your best. You’ll be doing what you should be doing. Not what the monkey wants you to.

Which is how you get you to that place where you have the energy and confidence that you’re after. And built the discipline that will permeate all areas of your life.

Plus the added satisfaction that comes from knowing that you’ve bettered that pesky monkey!

Want to find out more about improving your vitality, confidence and performance?

Click here

How to improve your energy, confidence & performance.

When we look past the superficial of aesthetics or leanness – is when when we get to the root of our desires.

Going beyond the norms of what society tells us we want, to find our true reason to improve our health and wellbeing.

Which is why want energy, confidence and better performance.

And this is coming from someone who has competed in Body Building.

I’ve attained much more enjoyment from pursuits that have been performance based i.e. Marathons, Power lifting. And I’m even more excited about upcoming open water swim and Mountaineering pursuits.

In terms of physical fitness and performance I’ve never been better than I am now.

And this will only improve because of the compounding effect of the day to day actions that are part of my routine.

I emphasise MY routine because not one size fits all. It has to be bespoke for you!

What you can commit to with exercise, nutrition, sleep and stress management is unique to you.

And you have to optimise those pillars to see you be at your best, to be on top of your game!

And hear me when I say it’s got to be bespoke because when we try and conform to something that is so far removed from our lives it won’t last!

That’s because the regimes and protocols out their are cookie cut on someone else’s plan. And to adapt and adhere to it you have to be at your best or nigh on perfect!

For success a plan needs to work even when you aren’t at your best. What you can be consistent with on your worst days.

Factoring in a margin of error!

Because we don’t rise to our goals we fall to our habits.

Which is what my coaching program The Performance Project is all about.

Devising a plan for you to help you build habits that will see make progress even when life gets hectic.

A plan that works in the face of high pressure and adversity. Taking into consideration all the obstacles that life is sure to throw at us.

Paired with accountability and support to see you break through plateaus and perform at your best.

For more info click here

You 2.0

Have you ever set a goal and not achieved it?

Are you struggling to do that currently?

It could be the way you are thinking about it!

Setting the intention is great. But, when you’re trying to attain it, your thoughts towards it are very important.

Normally you set a goal in the future. It is great to have something concrete and specific. Measurable and precise. 

Writing down the intricacies. And to ensure that it is measurable. Not a state. Your goal doesn’t want to be a feeling.

For example, ‘I want to feel healthy’. Of course, you want that but it is better if you have goals that you can measure accurately.

For example, ‘I want to lower my blood pressure to x/y’. ‘I want to have produced x by this time.’ ‘I want to have improved my health markers for my next health assessment’. 

The common problem is after you set the goal. With regards to how you are thinking about that goal.

Saying to yourself ‘it’s going to happen’ is telling your subconscious that it’s in the future.

Making it even more elusive. 

You want to be thinking that you have already achieved said goal. Telling yourself ‘I have just achieved my ideal body weight’. ‘I have just secured that contract’. ‘I have got the promotion’.

Telling your subconscious to take the required action to meet the instruction/affirmation. To close the differential from where you are now to the desired version of you.

Maybe you are stuck not progressing? As well as not having the right mindset, it could be because you’re taking advice from the wrong people. They mean well and they are more than happy to offer you their opinion. But you should not be taking advice from people who don’t have the lifestyle you want.

And they should not be offering it if they have not achieved what they are advising. After all, you can’t give what you don’t have.

Which makes me want to ask you. Are you…

someone that knows what they have to do but doesn’t take action or put in the work required?

Or are you trying all manner of things? Working away tirelessly to improve your health. But not getting the results from the work you are putting in. You don’t know what you should be doing.

The latter is the type of person I work with. Those that know that there is work to be done to improve their health. But there are gaps in their knowledge of what to do. With regards to diet, exercise, sleep, stress, and performance. 

I’m not interested in working with people that are trying to avoid the work required for change. Reluctant to put in the effort to transform them from the person they are now. 

When all it takes is some guidance and some elbow grease. To become the future happier, healthier, more confident, better-performing version of yourself.

You 2.0