Hello *|FNAME|*,
Have you ever thought to yourself?
‘why when it comes to the 11th hour can I not make the right decision and do what I need to do?’
you know this would benefit your self improvement and wellbeing
but instead you do something else that distracts you and steers you further from your goal.
The reason why comes down to several things:
1. Your reliance on motivation
Permanent motivation is a fantasy. No one is always motivated!
If you’re conjuring up an image of someone in your head. They’re not, it’s a misconception.
You might even perceive me as someone who is motivated. I’m not!
My motivation is fleeting at best. I’ve made my peace with not being motivated for protracted periods, and yes I seize it when it’s there.
But motivation only makes the task a little easier, it’s not the determining factor of whether I do what I need to.
My point is this..
…the majority of the time I don’t feel like doing what I need to. But I crack on regardless.
Because I’ve built my discipline and increased my self control.
Plus, I’ve cultivated a routine and environment that doesn’t test my urges, a ‘Ulysses contract’ if you would. So I’m not getting distracted.
That’s not to say I don’t experience temptation and the lure of distraction. I do.
But I’m able to fend it off by acknowledging the distraction.
Then I hear the voice of Gold Five from Star Wars telling me to ‘Stay on target’ and I swat the temptation away like an annoying mosquito.
So I stay focused on the task, present with what I’m doing. Giving it my full attention.
2. Hardwiring
We human beings have some outdated programming.
Our operating systems are running the command: avoid pain, seek pleasure.
Whilst this programming was beneficial for us in the Palaeolithic era (to keep you alive). In the modern era it’s become detrimental to your wellbeing.
We live in an environment where food, fornication, stimulants, amusements are abundant.
This constant drive for pleasure, this archaic programming, is now self destructive.
Companies have tapped into this pleasure drive and are selling you products to appease it.
(which is insidious because they profit as you perish).
There’s now so much pleasure immediately available we’re over consuming. And it’s making us weaker and unhappier.
But you can help yourself. You can recognise the outdated pleasure command and start re coding your mind.
Enter this:
}
partake in activities (that bring) {
short term pain(and long term gain);
}
}
3. Irrelevant goals
Ask yourself; is it actually your goal or are you going along with the masses?
Are you confusing society’s goals with your own? ‘Keeping up with the Jones’. Upgrading your lifestyle but never stopping to ask yourself:
‘if I didn’t care about what others thought, would I still have this as a goal? Or have I been caught up in the facade that I need x because they have it?
When we’re not doing the things that improve our human experience (the things that enhance our wellbeing) we’ll distract ourselves.
We’ll start looking to others. Making comparisons with people who we shouldn’t be. Forming goals and desires based on what they’ve got.
Reminder: if the grass seems greener it’s usually because you haven’t been watering your side!
but these desires are usually superficial.
And here’s the kicker; with superficial goals come superficial rewards.
Happy on the outside (what’s shown to others), but unfulfilled on the inside.
So dig deep and do what you want to do. If it’s different to the herd’s ideal then you’re on the right track!
4. Absence of a routine
Do you find your days are pretty much you performing random tasks based on how you feel?
Or tasks other people have given you because you have no plans of your own?
This is the definition of operating on a whim.
Without a plan, a routine, you’ll experience inconsistence.
Here’s where a routine would be beneficial.
Before you open your calendar and start inputting tasks to fill your time.
I’ve found the best way to go about this is to reverse engineer your goal.
Start off with your purpose, which is your North Star, your direction to follow. This is important because when you have purpose, what you’re doing will mean more to you.
Then you’ll need to set a goal. It’s one thing to know your purpose, but how will you go about fulfilling it?
Set a goal that’s tangible. Make it big, make it specific and give it a deadline.
Now you know your purpose and you know how to realize it (with your goal). You need to know how to get there.
This is why having a plan is important. It allows you to break your goal down. All the way to daily actions.
After that you build habits. Habits are systems and processes for your life. They ease the smooth running of your day. Most of the time you’ll do them automatically.
Achieving your goal is inevitable when you transfer actions from your plan into habits.
Voila.
Speak soon
Andrew
Tag: discipline
When people ask me ‘how do you stay motivated?’ It tell them ‘I don’t!’
When they ask me ‘how do you build motivation?’ I tell them ‘you don’t!’
I might sound like I’m unenthused or pessimistic but I can assure you I’m not.
I say this to help people understand that motivation is actually hindering them.
I’ll explain.
When your workouts are a war.
Your mindfulness exercises a fight.
Your imposed bedtimes a battle.
And your healthy food choices a struggle.
It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.
If you’re under some impression that you should be motivated to do these things and this inner conflict is something unique to you…
…you’re wrong!
You’re are no different to anyone else. Everyone has the ‘Monkey’ in their head.
The Monkey’s job is to convince you to not do what you should be doing. And he’ll propose doing something easier, more exciting instead.
When this Monkey is absent, taking a bit of R&R. Recharging his batteries, before returning to once again stop you pursuing your goals…
…is when you’ll experience bouts of productivity and action. (You’re free from the Monkey’s powerful persuasion to Netflix and Chill.)
But when he’s back, that’s when the battle arises.
And right now it’s not a competition…
…he’s winning every time!
The Monkey is too strong and persuasive. He knows every trick in the book to stop you taking action towards your goal.
And exactly which buttons to press to re route you away from your dream.
He’s louder, stronger and his option is way more compelling.
And this is my problem with Motivation
It isn’t a compelling drive…
…it’s an absence of The Monkey.
And it’s how you’re currently operating.
Long periods of inactivity, interspliced with spurts of effort. (When the Monkey is taking annual leave (he doesn’t take much, he’s very dedicated to his job!)).
This is why motivation is not something to rely on!
People that are consistent with taking action know this.
Instead they rely on a routine. And over time they’ve strengthened their discipline to adhere to their routine.
To a point where they can overpower the Monkey every time. And force it into it’s cage (it’s not cruel, it’s a fictional metaphor).
Enabling them to take the action necessary to progress.
They don’t need to wait until their Monkey is away to take action.
And it’s this consistent action that sees them achieve their goal.
So if you need help with achieving confidence and focus to achieve your goals. Through the development of a good habits and routine.
Building self control and discipline is imperative to having the life that you want. Because the hard choices that you make in the present will be rewarded in the future.
‘Through discipline comes freedom’ – Aristotle
But you need to have self discipline to make these hard choices.
These choices are hard because we are all subjected to temptation. In the form of cheap dopamine (a neurotransmitter that plays a role in pleasure, motivation, and learning) hits.
Agents of instant gratification and dopamine include:
porn, social media, alcohol, cigarettes, junk food.
These cheap dopamine and instant gratification hits cause peaks in your dopamine levels (which you haven’t earned).
After which, your dopamine levels decrease to a lower level than before.
This will result in you feeling Lazy, Depressed & Unmotivated.
You then crave whatever gave you the previous dopamine high so you can feel better again.
This causes a cycle of peaks drops and cravings – and voila you have an addiction!
So to help you restore your dopamine to a natural level, causing you to feel:
Driven, Excited’ Motivated.
It would be prudent to implement a dopamine detox
How do you do this?
Have a think about what sources of cheap dopamine you are addicted to.
Social media? Porn? Drugs? Alcohol? Cigarettes? Junk food?
Choose the 3 you are most addicted to (these will be the ones you want to remove them the least – meaning your addiction is strongest with these) and remove them.
If this is your first detox aim for 48 hours. If you’ve done it before aim for at least 2 weeks.
You can then do this many times, each time increasing the duration of the detox.
To make this easier I advise you to remove temptations.
Load web blockers, app blockers remove alcohol from the house and don’t go to the shop you usually get your cigarettes from.
Because if you’re surrounded by temptation it is only a matter of time before you crack. And everyone has a breaking point.
Replace these synthetic, cheap means of dopamine and instant gratification with natural ones (ones you earn).
Getting enough sleep, exercising, listening to music, meditating, and spending time in the sun. Are all ways to boost dopamine.
Then get yourself some accountability; tell someone you trust that you are doing this detox.
Ask them to help you remove temptations and check in on you.
It’s important that you know that this will be uncomfortable! And it is in embracing this discomfort you are building discipline.
You are going against your dopamine which wants you to give in to your vices.
Stay strong!
Embrace the discomfort and remind yourself of the value that this detox will create and the benefits that will come from it!
Most guys know what to do but aren’t doing it.
This is why your health and fitness isn’t an information problem, it’s an implementation problem.
This means it’s less about the method and more about the mindset.
What you need to realize is, that making a transformation, one that will have you looking and feeling at your best. Is achieved through discipline.
I’m not talking about being perfect 24/7.
I’m saying that the majority of the decisions you make need to be in line with your goal. And the ones that aren’t don’t undo the work you’ve done.
It comes down to an internal battle between you and your monkey brain.
You see the monkey brain wants you to relax and take the easy option.
The monkey brain has a penchant for fornication, debauchery and immediate pleasure.
Do things that will provide it with stimulus and excitement (although they won’t be challenging or uncomfortable). This is why it’s so easy to plicate.
But after a while, of giving in to these cravings they leave you feeling a little hollow and disappointed.
Because once again you’ve been persuaded by the monkey. Who has led you astray.
Yeah, it was fun and you had a good laugh but that monkey has led you so far off course you’re now a bit lost.
You’re stumbling around trying to get back to the correct path. Cursing yourself for giving in to the petulant primate. Who keeps distracting you from not doing what you said you were going to do.
Frustrated you didn’t have the discipline to ignore that wretched beast and his easy enticements.
The thing is when you start out with addressing this the monkey brain, it isn’t a cute little Capuchin. No no no it’s an adult silverback gorilla.
It’s so powerful. You feel almost helpless when it comes to stopping it from doing what it wants.
But when you have a plan and some accountability that sees you build your discipline.
That is when you’ll start to see that monkey shrink. And so to its power over you. All the way until you have only a cute little Pygmy Marmoset to deal with.
It is at this point that you’ll be at your best. You’ll be doing what you should be doing. Not what the monkey wants you to.
Which is how you get you to that place where you have the energy and confidence that you’re after. And built the discipline that will permeate all areas of your life.
Plus the added satisfaction that comes from knowing that you’ve bettered that pesky monkey!
Want to find out more about improving your vitality, confidence and performance?