Tag: confidence

career goals, confidence, discipline, habits, High performance

How to get over fear

The common misconception is that you shouldn’t be afraid when it comes to taking action.

Especially with something that takes you outside of your comfort zone.

When you mention to someone that you want to do something. But you’re scared about doing it. They’ll give you some well intentioned, but terrible advice, like;

‘Don’t be afraid’ or ‘There’s nothing to be scared of’.

Because most people work on the assumption that you can turn fear off. And high achieving people have no fear because they’ve turned it off.

This is why fear is one of our most misunderstood emotions.

Which is a shame, because it holds so many people back from achieving their goals.

So I would like to help you understand fear.

You need to understand that the Palaeolithic software that our minds are running, is skewed towards fear.

Back in the day (hunter gatherer) fear was a more valuable emotion.

The cavemen that were fearful of the large shadow is the long grass. Lasted a lot longer than those caveman who weren’t that fussed.

The fearful would avoid the situation their ‘spidy senses’ alerted them to.

Whereas those that were fearless became the lunch of some prehistoric beast. And their genes would be unapologetically weeded out out of existence.

Which meant our ancestors survived, procreated and passed on their fear driven operating system.

Which means that fear will never go away.

It waits in the bushes for you!

And as soon as you try something outside of your comfort zone fear pops up. The red light that sees you jump on the brakes. And you stop yourself.

It feels like an automatic reaction. Like something you have no control over.

And after enough times of experiencing this, you form the belief of ‘I can’t do it because I’m afraid’.

Or ‘if I’m afraid, something’s not right and I shouldn’t do it’.

Here’s where I’m going to ask you to address what you currently understand about fear.

So you can get over it and start taking action!

When you’re about to do something outside of your comfort zone. It’s completely normal that fear pounces!

In fact it would be weird if you didn’t experience fear in that scenario. The absence of it means you likely have some abnormality.

(Or your ancestors where one of those Laissez–faire cavemen who luckily made it through).

I used to give into the fear a lot.

Over the years I missed out on countless opportunities from capitulating to this archaic software.

I’d find myself stuck. Wanting to take action, but too afraid.

Until someone helped me think about it differently.

Which changed everything!

And with this mindset I began doing things that fear had previously stopped me from doing.

Then as I became more confident with my updated software I started testing myself. Doing things to evoke the fear and see how easy I could push past it.

I took on the fear of being in front of a crowd of people wearing only my underwear (that all too familiar nightmare). Through doing a bodybuilding competition. Which saw me in shorts on stage in front of hundreds of people.

I got over my fear of swimming in the sea or any open water (probably from watching Jaws too young). Through open water swimming.

My fear of a getting in a fight through Boxing and Judo.

My fear of speaking in front of people through public speaking arrangements.

I was terrified before all of those events, but then I took that first step.

On to the stage,

into the lake,

into the ring

and soon onto the mountains (to take on my fear of heights).

Because as I’ve come to learn. As soon as you to take action…

…fear disappears!

And thanks to this new mindset I recognise that fear doesn’t mean I have to stop.

Because it’s not a red light…

…it’s an amber light!

And you have a choice to make when it appears.

You can stop which means the light goes red.

Or you can give yourself a green light and start doing the things you want to do!

The Disciplined Man 90 Day Coaching Program

confidence, stress

Emotional freedom

Picture this situation, you are driving home from work after a great day and your favourite song comes on the radio.

It’s been a fantastic day and your spirits are high, so what do you do? You do what any reasonable person would do in this situation, you start singing. A little bit of head bopping, steering wheel tapping (channelling your inner Keith Moon).

You’re in your own little world loving life. Until you see the guy in the car next to you looking at you.

This is where you could go from feeling great to wishing you were invisible.

You might turn the radio down, sit back into your seat, reset your hands to the 10 and 2 position. Adjust your joyous facial expression, to one that conveys serious mature thoughts.

This example is ascribing too much importance to what other people think.

It’s not that you shouldn’t give any importance to other’s opinions. But where it crosses the line is when you care what absolute strangers think. Or people that are insignificant in your life. People you don’t respect.

These people should have no bearing on your actions or your goals. If it was up to someone else how to achieve our dreams and progress most of us wouldn’t achieve anything in our lives.

You need to base your decisions and goals on you, not other people. Too many people base their success and goals on the opinions of other people. Friends, family, co-workers.

You need to stop worrying about what other people are thinking about you and your decisions.

It is a very dangerous habit to have as it encourages you to move with the masses or conform to the group.

Here is where the emotional freedom technique will help.

Now, this is not designed to make you arrogant. Rather it resolves and dissolves the emotional reaction you have to and about other people, places and things.

To be an independent and self-confident person you need to start being more independent!

When you start to care less about what other people think you start living more. This doesn’t mean you don’t care about people.

The emotional freedom technique resolves and dissolves what you think other people think.

Have you ever thought to yourself?; ‘he or she makes me feel guilty’ Question: who is doing the feeling?

You are!

It is your reaction to what they have said or done or not done that you interpret guilt from.

Most people get it wrong about you or what you can achieve anyway. I’d like to cement this by pointing out: The Beatles were rejected. Michael Jordan didn’t make his school basketball team. Richard Branson has had more failed businesses than successful ones.

If they have worried about what others have thought you would never have heard of them.

Your feeling is created by yourself. Other people do not have the power to make you feel a certain way. You choose to feel that way! 

Using the emotional freedom technique will help you to overcome the fear of rejection.

Overcome your fear that they will think that your goals are too big and impossible for you to achieve them.

Overcome any emotional reaction to something in the past that they might have said or done.

Overcome your fear of putting yourself out there. And it will help you take the much-needed action in achieving your goals. From developing your own belief of self-worth and deserving.

With the emotional freedom technique it could be something as simple telling yourself;

Even though I’m afraid that others will think my goals are too big for me and I could never achieve them…

‘Even though I’m afraid of rejection’…
Even though he or she said x or did y and it made me feel…
Even though I’m not worthy of great success…

Even without being specific in detail, the emotional freedom technique will still work.

If you’re afraid about what you think others think about you doing Emotional Freedom Technique you can EFT that away too.

Another physical EFT is tapping, which like acupressure, tapping involves the body’s energy meridian points. Download my EFT tapping guide here

confidence, exercise, nutrition, weight loss

Baptism of fire

I remember when I first started in a Health Club many years ago and I had a consultation with a new client.


When I asked him about his goals I was a little taken back by what happened next.


He went to his bag and out from it he pulled a copy of Men’s Health magazine. He held the magazine and pointed to the bronzed Adonis on the front cover.


‘I want this guy’s body’ he said.


In my head I was thinking ‘this is something one would do in a barbers’.


This was one of my first consultations and turned out to be quite the baptism of fire. The rest of the consultation was spent managing expectations and understanding why he wanted this man’s body.


I mean the chap on the cover looked great and I could see the appeal. In my teens I would have had copies of these magazines and trying to emulate the model on the cover. Thinking this is what I need to look like.
Needless to say I never came close (partly because the info in the magazines was so confusing). Partly because of what I’m about to tell you next.
His goal, although endearing, didn’t make sense. He wanted to look like someone else!


I had to the explain to the portly, middle aged gentleman sitting in front of me. The professional model on the front cover had spent years training and nourishing himself to achieve that physique. It was his job to look like that.
Also the model would take extra steps in the months leading up to the shoot. Lighting, tanning, makeup and airbrushing would do the rest.


I told him that ‘the guy on the cover doesn’t even look like the guy on the cover!’


I explained to the gentleman that it would be prudent to focus on himself and getting his body to the best it can be. And we agreed on goals that were going to make him feel good about his body, improve his confidence and health.


This instance wasn’t a one off. I noticed more and more guys were proposing the same thing in consultations. And I know why. It’s because we are constantly subjected to these images of physical perfection. Magazines, advertisements, commercials etc. And we compare and contrast. We look at other people’s chapter twenty and compare it to our chapter one. This seldom feels good and it seems so far removed and unobtainable we become apathetic.


Now, if you didn’t already know; comparison is the thief of joy! So don’t do that! It’s not going to help. Yes you can appreciate the time and effort these people have devoted, but that is all.


When setting your goals concentrate on improving yourself. Becoming a better version of you, then put your energy into the small steps to achieve that. Things like:


*Eating better, without dieting or feeling deprived.

*Being active, no matter what shape you’re in now.

*Ditching the food rules, dropping the fad diets, and conflicting advice. *Building fitness into your life, without it taking over.

*Achieving and maintaining your goals, even when life gets busy.


Which will see you:


*Losing the weight/fat you haven’t been able to shed for years.

*Building physical strength and confidence in your body.

*Gaining mental confidence, no longer hiding your gifts and talents.

*Letting go of food confusion, learning what to do, how to do it.

*Getting off the diet roller coaster once and for all, and never looking back.


So, stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing yourself to your previous self.

confidence

Fear of failure

Have you ever avoided something because you are scared of failing?
Of course you have. This fear of failure is something we pick up in adolescence or adulthood. It protects our ego.


Think about it, what do we tell our kid’s when they come to us and tell us that something doesn’t work? We tell them to try again and when they come back and say it still doesn’t work. We say ‘try again’. Is that what we do as adults?? Nope! If we try again, we make sure nobody knows about it we don’t want anyone to know that we failed, right?


How long do you give your average baby to learn how to walk, before you shut them off and stop them from trying anymore? 🙂 They get up and keep failing until they walk! That is the magic formula. That is why you are able to walk. You persevered until! Thousands of attempts and thousands of ‘failures’ to see you walking. You tried until!


Unfortunately over time people are deterred from taking action and persevering because of fear. Fear of failure!

What I would suggest to you is that you change your perception around failure. To discipline your thinking in a new way, new thought process. What I mean is I want you to think that;


‘there are no failures, there are only results/outcomes!


Ask yourself do I always get my goal? But do you always get an outcome? Maybe not the one you intended, but it is a result. So the truth is you never fail you always succeed in producing a result, now it may not be the one you intended but that’s ok.You can make a subtle change and produce a new result.


People that succeed are the ones that do not believe in failure. There is no failure only outcomes/results. This guides them to continually take the action that eventually produces the kind of results that most people only hope to produce.


The thing is you probably don’t feel good about failing, but you feel good about learning. So the way you are going to succeed from this moment forward is you are going to realise that there are no failures. Because you learn from every experience. You succeed by learning from every human experience.


You will learn far more from these failures than you do successes. And as long as you learn from the experience then you can change your approach to produce the result that you want!


Now what I’m going to put to you is, how about you remove all the time spent trying and failing? How about you expedite the result with a proven method that will see you transform your body and mind. Improving your energy and productivity. A method that will see you looking good and feeling great!


click here

career goals, confidence, stress, time management, weight loss

You don’t build confidence!

‘That would be great. I would love to do that Andrew but I don’t have the confidence.’

‘You do’. I told him. ‘The confidence is there. You only need to remove the layers of insecurity that are suppressing it.’


‘It is there inside you. It’s a case of stripping away the negative narrative about your health, appearance, and future.’


‘That’s what we are going to be working on. Removing those limiting beliefs with physical and mindset changes.’


I could see the light bulb turn on. I could hear the cogs whirring. What I had said had landed. All of a sudden, James had switched on. What a great initial consultation we had.


James was no different from the other guys who I’ve worked with on The Limitless Lifestyle Blueprint.

Unfulfilled in their career because they are underproducing (due to low energy levels). 

Not progressing to the next level promotion that they have been working towards for the past 5 years. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 

Unconfident in their body and their intimacy with their partner has dropped off.

Stuck because they have been wasting thousands of dollars and hours on quick fixes. And they are still in the exact same spot as they were 5 years ago. 


Except worse off because they are 5 years older. 

This is why signing up to The Limitless lifestyle Blueprint and going through the modules of change, is beneficial. Because what you are paying for is time.  

Time saved from not following bad advice.  


Time saved from expediting the outcome. 


Time accrued from stacking years on to your life. 


Time back with your family because you are present and have balance.

For more information on how The Limitless Lifestyle Blueprint can help you click here.