4 reasons you’re not doing what you need to

Hello *|FNAME|*,

Have you ever thought to yourself?

‘why when it comes to the 11th hour can I not make the right decision and do what I need to do?’

you know this would benefit your self improvement and wellbeing

but instead you do something else that distracts you and steers you further from your goal.

The reason why comes down to several things:

1. Your reliance on motivation 

Permanent motivation is a fantasy. No one is always motivated! 

If you’re conjuring up an image of someone in your head. They’re not, it’s a misconception.

You might even perceive me as someone who is motivated. I’m not!

My motivation is fleeting at best. I’ve made my peace with not being motivated for protracted periods,  and yes I seize it when it’s there.

But motivation only makes the task a little easier, it’s not the determining factor of whether I do what I need to.

My point is this..

…the majority of the time I don’t feel like doing what I need to. But I crack on regardless.

Because I’ve built my discipline and increased my self control.

Plus, I’ve cultivated a routine and environment that doesn’t test my urges, a ‘Ulysses contract’ if you would. So I’m not getting distracted. 

That’s not to say I don’t experience temptation and the lure of distraction. I do.

But I’m able to fend it off by acknowledging the distraction.

Then I hear the voice of Gold Five from Star Wars telling me to ‘Stay on target’ and I swat the temptation away like an annoying mosquito. 

So I stay focused on the task, present with what I’m doing. Giving it my full attention. 

2. Hardwiring

We human beings have some outdated programming. 

Our operating systems are running the command: avoid pain, seek pleasure.

Whilst this programming was beneficial for us in the Palaeolithic era (to keep you alive). In the modern era it’s become detrimental to your wellbeing.

We live in an environment where food, fornication, stimulants, amusements are abundant.

This constant drive for pleasure, this archaic programming, is now self destructive.

Companies have tapped into this pleasure drive and are selling you products to appease it.

(which is insidious because they profit as you perish).

There’s now so much pleasure immediately available we’re over consuming. And it’s making us weaker and unhappier.

But you can help yourself. You can recognise the outdated pleasure command and start re coding your mind.

Enter this:

}                
   partake in activities (that bring) {        
    short term pain(and long term gain);    
   }                
 }     


3. Irrelevant goals

Ask yourself; is it actually your goal or are you going along with the masses?

Are you confusing society’s goals with your own? ‘Keeping up with the Jones’. Upgrading your lifestyle but never stopping to ask yourself: 

‘if I didn’t care about what others thought, would I still have this as a goal? Or have I been caught up in the facade that I need x because they have it?

When we’re not doing the things that improve our human experience (the things that enhance our wellbeing) we’ll distract ourselves. 

We’ll start looking to others. Making comparisons with people who we shouldn’t be. Forming goals and desires based on what they’ve got. 

Reminder: if the grass seems greener it’s usually because you haven’t been watering your side! 

but these desires are usually superficial.

And here’s the kicker; with superficial goals come superficial rewards.

Happy on the outside (what’s shown to others), but unfulfilled on the inside.

So dig deep and do what you want to do. If it’s different to the herd’s ideal then you’re on the right track! 

4. Absence of a routine

Do you find your days are pretty much you performing random tasks based on how you feel?

Or tasks other people have given you because you have no plans of your own? 

This is the definition of operating on a whim.

Without a plan, a routine, you’ll experience inconsistence.  

Here’s where a routine would be beneficial.

Before you open your calendar and start inputting tasks to fill your time.

I’ve found the best way to go about this is to reverse engineer your goal.

Start off with your purpose, which is your North Star, your direction to follow. This is important because when you have purpose, what you’re doing will mean more to you. 

Then you’ll need to set a goal. It’s one thing to know your purpose, but how will you go about fulfilling it? 

Set a goal that’s tangible. Make it big, make it specific and give it a deadline. 

Now you know your purpose and you know how to realize it (with your goal). You need to know how to get there. 

This is why having a plan is important. It allows you to break your goal down. All the way to daily actions. 

After that you build habits. Habits are systems and processes for your life. They ease the smooth running of your day. Most of the time you’ll do them automatically. 

Achieving your goal is inevitable when you transfer actions from your plan into habits. 

Voila.

Speak soon

Andrew

The day you became a successful man

In a society hellbent on being successful nobody ever stops to think about what success is.

Most guys don’t know what success means to them.

All they know is; they want to be successful, so they pursue the things they think that success entails.

Shaped on societies definition, what social media, TV and media tell them it is.

Blinkered by the superficial and oblivious to the fundamental.

They pursuit superficial goals and wind up leading empty lives.

Bereft of integrity. Devoid of authenticity.

Driving a fancy car to a job they hate.

Returning home to a loveless home.

Backloading their life plans for ‘someday’ that never comes.

Exhausted from the poor habits they’ve picked up.

And broken by the stress they’ve chosen not to deal with.

From the outside it looks like Nirvana

But on the inside it’s a sesspit of misery.

That’s why it’s not success…

…if you’ve neglected yourself in the process!

If the means has only been to justify the end.

Then you’ve missed the point!

Real success comes from embracing the process.

Tests of resolve, the forging of confidence, improving oneself physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Having a sense of fulfillment from your livlihood, your purpose.

A loving relationship, raising a family and being a strong rolemodel.

Everything else is just noise.

How to improve the quality of your life

To achieve this you need to improve your habits. I’ll explain why.

Years ago I was caught in the ‘lottery win’ mindset.

I convinced myself that overnight success was the result of some windfall. A brush with good fortune.

This was the reason people had aquired their life situation.

What didn’t help was that the media, movies and tabloids would all cement this notion.

But as time passed and I started researching, reading, experimenting. And speaking to the most revered in my industry (people who had achieved great levels of success). I began to form a different hypothesis.

One that was at the other end of the spectrum to ‘overnight success’.

That it takes a lot of time for overnight success to occur. It is actually the culmination of months or years of work.

It’s the small efforts repeated daily that led to a better quality of life.

I’m talking about the small actions that we don’t even think about, because they are habitual. The decisions we make in autopilot mode.

But these are the decisions that shape our future.

So how do we address them? And improve the quality of our lives?

Well, there are some steps, 4 actually. Steps that you can climb up to make change inevitable.

1. The first step is the unconscious incompetence stage.

This is when we’re making bad decisions and we aren’t even aware we’re doing it.

We just know that things aren’t working out.

Here’s were something as being cognisant can help. Bringing tracking into the equation. For our sleep, our diet, our exercise and our stress.

‘that sounds like a lot of time‘. I hear you say.

Oh contrare mon frère’.

It’s no extra time! – you’re already doing this stuff so you just record at the time.

After this you’ll then enter into the next stage which is

3. The conscious incompetence.

You start to look at the actual decision and data. It makes it clear.

This is where you are aware that you’re not making optimal decions

You can see that you’re not adhering to the plan you have, if you even have a plan.

You can see where poor choices are actually hindering you.

This is the ‘wow I didn’t realise I was having that many calories’

or ‘I thought I was getting more sleep than that’.

‘Maybe I could cancel my gym membership because I’ve only been once this month’

and the classic – ‘this app can’t be working right’.

It is, and they are! Your ego is just having a hard time coming to terms with your choices.

Remember our thoughts are not the truth but rather stories that we get caught up in!

This is the cold hard truth slapping you across the face, the reality punch to the gut!

An uncomfortable period where you realise things are not as they seem. Or rather as you ‘believed’

Quickly moving on to the next stage 🙂

3. The conscious competence stage

This is where your decisions are improving. Due to some changes you’ve implemented (through self or professional guidance).

You’re making better decisions. But they’re not automatic yet. It still requires effort and discipline to make these decisions.

This is a nice stage as you can actually see change occurring with your actions. You feel good from making better decisions.

4. Then you arrive at the unconscious competence stage.

After enough time in the previous stage. These new benficial life changing decisions become automatic.

You’ve likely amended or introduced a routine which makes actions habitual. And in this ascension you’ve form a new identity.

You see yourself as the person who eats healthy, goes to the gym, gets 8 hours sleep. And is relaxed from practicing mindfulness exercises.

You’re energetic and ethused. You have more clarity and you’re making better decisions as this 2.0 version of you.

Which stage are you in?

How I found my purpose

I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you why I do what I do.

The genesis of becoming a health consultant.

It wasn’t a result of happenstance. It stemmed from an event that occurred in my formative years.

At the time my dad had a senior job in the city which saw him start very early and finish very late.

I didn’t see all that much of him. Some times at the weekend but those periods were fleeting.

This seemed to be the norm for the schooling part of my life.

And over time this high pressure senior role took its toll on him.

His energy levels declined, his stress increased and he was having more doctors appointments.

They were concerned with his health.

Turns out that chronic high stress, zero activity. A diet that resembled a 5 year olds birthday party. And a bullfrogs sleep routine wasn’t all that conducive to a healthy living.

Who knew?!

Reality hit home when the cardiologist said that with without open heart surgery a cardiac event was imminent!

It wasn’t a choice. It was an ultimatum. Surgery or you’ll be shuffling off this mortal coil!

It seemed like only days later he was checked in to hospital.

They opened him up and veins were taken from various other parts of his body and replaced those blocked ones around his heart.

That’s what I was told anyway, this period in my life was a bit blurry.

Although I do remember, very vividly, coming home after school – and finding myself alone a fair bit.

As my mum would be at his bedside at the hospital.

I’d make meals for myself and my mum for when she would return late at night.

It was all a bit surreal. And I didn’t understand the severity of the situation. Not until I went to visit my dad.

I remember it was one of the first times I’d been into the City.

Everything was overwhelming, the amount of people, the buildings the noise and the pace of it all.

Several hours had past in what felt like only a few minutes. And we had reached the station adjacent the hospital.

I remember walking in to the ward and seeing my dad.

I barely recognised him

When I sat down beside him I remember being asked questions by the doctor and nurses.

Light hearted chit chat they’d developed from years of developing a bedside manner.

But I didn’t respond. I could muster any words. My mum had to respond for me. As I was transfixed on my dad.

You know when you feel yourself come out of yourself, in a malaise?! That sort of thing.

I was starring at the person that was lying there in the hospital bed hooked up to the machines, and wiring.

It was almost like he wasn’t a human but part of a machine.

The Doctors and my mum trying to lighten the mood. Regaling me with stories of his projectile vomiting post surgery.

But this didn’t permeate the trance I was in.

I remember feeling numb.

And then I felt anger. Angry that this had happened

That he’d let this happen, that he’d chose this.

It wasn’t an unfortunate set of circumstances or genetics

It was the choices he’d made compounded over time that had culminated in this.

This fucked up situation where I didn’t know if he was coming home or not.

I remember the cessation of our visit and being prompted to say goodbye by my mum. Walking through the hospital wing towards the elevator.

I remember this very clearly. Because that was the defining moment.

It was when I told myself ‘that was not going to happen to me’.

That it was on me to look after myself. I must learn from other peoples mistakes as well as my own.

And my dad was exhibit A.

It felt like this experience had knocked me out of the status quo lifestyle that everyone was living. And into a parallel dimension running alongside it.

An Anthropological dimension. From which I would extrapolate societal norms and collate information.

Whilst doing this I started to realise that it wasn’t just my dad that was in poor health.

It was my friend’s dads too.

And men I was hearing about in the news (back when I used to read/watch it). So many men were struggling.

But no one was talking about the elephant in the room.

Everyone was accepting it as the norm. I suppose when everyone is sick it’s no longer considered a disease.

Fast forward man years from then to today.

I look back at this experience and whilst it was difficult and frustrating at the time.

I was also grateful that I had gone through it.

Because I had found my purpose; to save men from themselves.

To help them develop the discipline they need. To elude the temptations of modern living (which have become the imperceptible demise of men).

It’s this purpose that gets me up in the morning and keeps me going late in the evening.

I’ve become more enthused about efficiency, productivity and lifestyle habits. Because I need the energy to to propel me through the day and work on my mission.

And the beauty of it; the things I do to work on my purpose are self perpetuating. They give me more energy.

Not only that but the job satisfaction I get from.

Helping others to have more energy, and manage their health so they can give 100% to their passion, is incredible.

Knowing they’ve made an important transition in their life and set an important example for the children they’re raising.

Here’s a testimonial from one of my clients, Alex:

Not only has Andy helped my physical health (I’ve managed to lose 10 kg in 3 months), he’s helped my mental health too.

His constant praise, encouragement and holding me accountable for my actions has meant I’m now more motivated and active.

I’ve started writing a book I’ve been wanting to write for ages, and now feel like I have more time and energy to pursue other interests.

I’m even starting to feel better about myself whenever I see a mirror. I’ve even seen some photos of me recently that I haven’t instantly hated 🙂

Given my time again, I would hire Andy in a heartbeat.

How to stay consistent with exercise and diet.

This is the most common problem I encounter. ‘How can I stay consistent’ along with ‘how do I stay motivated?’.

It’s not that you don’t have the energy.

It’s that you don’t have the clarity!

It’s vital to have clarity with what you’re working towards. Because it’s going to be stressful if you are arbitrarily doing it, knowing it’s not for you or wishing you were doing something else.

Give yourself something to work towards. An event, a reason for your training. A carrot at the end of the stick!

BTW, this is on top of knowing your why. As I’ve mentioned before it’s important to know your why, your core driver. The underlying motivation (mine being my children and setting an example for them).

And I implore you to find your why for getting fitter, stronger healthier and happier.

Once you know that the next step is to direct it.

Meaningless exercise or dieting, things that you don’t enjoy will seldom last.

But if you put in place something to work towards that will give you focus and clarity. Then you’ll find the work easier.

Having a goal in place, or a milestone (whatever sporting pursuit/activity it is) is super powerful.

It will give you focus plus an all important deadline. Without a deadline you’ll never push yourself to execute said task.

Every year I’ve put in place a pursuit/event. A marathon. A weight lifting comp. A bodybuilding competition. A mountaineering expedition.

This gives me direction and clarity. This means my training never seems Sisyphean. Because I know that I’m working towards something.

Once you know your why and you give yourself a goal. You’ll have that clarity.

Then you’ll be unstoppable.

How you can reach your goals

Most people don’t know how to reach their goals or realise their true potential.

They think if they do this, a bit of that, then some more of this that magically whatever they want will fall in their lap.

That’s not how it works!

You see, there’s only one thing that must change (if you want to achieve a predetermined goal that you’ve set for yourself).

Your habits!

Take fitness as an example:

The vast majority of guys who want to get in shape will go the gym.

They go for a while and assume that one day they’ll wake up looking like Arnold in his prime. Or Brad Pitt in Fight Club (whichever floats their boat).

They put no conscious thought into changing their habits.

They won’t adjust their eating habits. And they’ll remain ignorant about their stress levels.

And a short while of after not seeing their desired results they’ll quit.

What I work on with my clients is getting them to focus on their HABITS, not their goals.

Their habits are will get them them to their goal.

I cannot stress enough the importance of your habits and routine.

Do they match your goals?

If someone looked at what you do each day would they be able to accurately guess what you’re trying to achieve?

Andrew

The Fitness Gentleman

P.S. If you feel as though you are ready to move the mental roadblocks stopping you from strengthening your body and your mindset so you can reach your goals. I invite you to a Free Discovery Call here where we can have a chat about your goals and how you can go about achieving them.

You vs The Monkey

Most guys know what to do but aren’t doing it.

This is why your health and fitness isn’t an information problem, it’s an implementation problem.

This means it’s less about the method and more about the mindset.

What you need to realize is, that making a transformation, one that will have you looking and feeling at your best. Is achieved through discipline.

I’m not talking about being perfect 24/7.

I’m saying that the majority of the decisions you make need to be in line with your goal. And the ones that aren’t don’t undo the work you’ve done.

It comes down to an internal battle between you and your monkey brain.

You see the monkey brain wants you to relax and take the easy option.

The monkey brain has a penchant for fornication, debauchery and immediate pleasure.

Do things that will provide it with stimulus and excitement (although they won’t be challenging or uncomfortable). This is why it’s so easy to plicate.

But after a while, of giving in to these cravings they leave you feeling a little hollow and disappointed.

Because once again you’ve been persuaded by the monkey. Who has led you astray.

Yeah, it was fun and you had a good laugh but that monkey has led you so far off course you’re now a bit lost.

You’re stumbling around trying to get back to the correct path. Cursing yourself for giving in to the petulant primate. Who keeps distracting you from not doing what you said you were going to do.

Frustrated you didn’t have the discipline to ignore that wretched beast and his easy enticements.

The thing is when you start out with addressing this the monkey brain, it isn’t a cute little Capuchin. No no no it’s an adult silverback gorilla.

It’s so powerful. You feel almost helpless when it comes to stopping it from doing what it wants.

But when you have a plan and some accountability that sees you build your discipline.

That is when you’ll start to see that monkey shrink. And so to its power over you. All the way until you have only a cute little Pygmy Marmoset to deal with.

It is at this point that you’ll be at your best. You’ll be doing what you should be doing. Not what the monkey wants you to.

Which is how you get you to that place where you have the energy and confidence that you’re after. And built the discipline that will permeate all areas of your life.

Plus the added satisfaction that comes from knowing that you’ve bettered that pesky monkey!

Want to find out more about improving your vitality, confidence and performance?

Click here

How to build motivation

When I talk to people about High Performance, sometimes the word “motivation” comes up.

“I’ve tried all kinds of diets and fitness regimens,” they might say.

Shortly followed by “but I can never seem to keep up the motivation.”

The reality is High Performance has nothing to do with motivation. It’s definitely not the magic key that unlocks your potential. As so many online gurus would have you believe.

High Performance is formed from the process of building habits. Specific actions in your daily routine linked to your goals.

It’s about pursuing your potential for yourself and those that matter most.

It requires a plan, a roadmap, that sees you fine tune your actions. It’s not something you do overnight.

Think about what athletes do (some I’ve coached). They follow a specialized training program. Designed to improve their physical, psychological, technical skill set.

They support their training with habits such as getting restful and restorative sleep. They eat nutritious foods, build mental resilience through mindfulness, and foster supportive relationships.

Notice that motivation wasn’t mentioned once.

That’s because motivation is unreliable. And if you rely on it you are going to be inconsistent with your actions.

Long-term success is built upon small daily actions that move the you closer to your goal.

Modern neuroscience even demonstrates that from these small progressions you’ll be internally rewarded. Through a built-in neurochemical mechanism.

You don’t need superhuman motivation to elevate your performance (because it doesn’t exist).

The process isn’t reserved for gold medallists or billionaire entrepreneurs. All you need is a desire to pursue your potential.

If that’s something you’re interested in click here.