How to get over fear

The common misconception is that you shouldn’t be afraid when it comes to taking action.

Especially with something that takes you outside of your comfort zone.

When you mention to someone that you want to do something. But you’re scared about doing it. They’ll give you some well intentioned, but terrible advice, like;

‘Don’t be afraid’ or ‘There’s nothing to be scared of’.

Because most people work on the assumption that you can turn fear off. And high achieving people have no fear because they’ve turned it off.

This is why fear is one of our most misunderstood emotions.

Which is a shame, because it holds so many people back from achieving their goals.

So I would like to help you understand fear.

You need to understand that the Palaeolithic software that our minds are running, is skewed towards fear.

Back in the day (hunter gatherer) fear was a more valuable emotion.

The cavemen that were fearful of the large shadow is the long grass. Lasted a lot longer than those caveman who weren’t that fussed.

The fearful would avoid the situation their ‘spidy senses’ alerted them to.

Whereas those that were fearless became the lunch of some prehistoric beast. And their genes would be unapologetically weeded out out of existence.

Which meant our ancestors survived, procreated and passed on their fear driven operating system.

Which means that fear will never go away.

It waits in the bushes for you!

And as soon as you try something outside of your comfort zone fear pops up. The red light that sees you jump on the brakes. And you stop yourself.

It feels like an automatic reaction. Like something you have no control over.

And after enough times of experiencing this, you form the belief of ‘I can’t do it because I’m afraid’.

Or ‘if I’m afraid, something’s not right and I shouldn’t do it’.

Here’s where I’m going to ask you to address what you currently understand about fear.

So you can get over it and start taking action!

When you’re about to do something outside of your comfort zone. It’s completely normal that fear pounces!

In fact it would be weird if you didn’t experience fear in that scenario. The absence of it means you likely have some abnormality.

(Or your ancestors where one of those Laissezfaire cavemen who luckily made it through).

I used to give into the fear a lot.

Over the years I missed out on countless opportunities from capitulating to this archaic software.

I’d find myself stuck. Wanting to take action, but too afraid.

Until someone helped me think about it differently.

Which changed everything!

And with this mindset I began doing things that fear had previously stopped me from doing.

Then as I became more confident with my updated software I started testing myself. Doing things to evoke the fear and see how easy I could push past it.

I took on the fear of being in front of a crowd of people wearing only my underwear (that all too familiar nightmare). Through doing a bodybuilding competition. Which saw me in shorts on stage in front of hundreds of people.

I got over my fear of swimming in the sea or any open water (probably from watching Jaws too young). Through open water swimming.

My fear of a getting in a fight through Boxing and Judo.

My fear of speaking in front of people through public speaking arrangements.

I was terrified before all of those events, but then I took that first step.

On to the stage,

into the lake,

into the ring

and soon onto the mountains (to take on my fear of heights).

Because as I’ve come to learn. As soon as you to take action…

…fear disappears!

And thanks to this new mindset I recognise that fear doesn’t mean I have to stop.

Because it’s not a red light…

…it’s an amber light!

And you have a choice to make when it appears.

You can stop which means the light goes red.

Or you can give yourself a green light and start doing the things you want to do!

The Disciplined Man 90 Day Coaching Program

How to stay consistent with exercise and diet.

This is the most common problem I encounter. ‘How can I stay consistent’ along with ‘how do I stay motivated?’.

It’s not that you don’t have the energy.

It’s that you don’t have the clarity!

It’s vital to have clarity with what you’re working towards. Because it’s going to be stressful if you are arbitrarily doing it, knowing it’s not for you or wishing you were doing something else.

Give yourself something to work towards. An event, a reason for your training. A carrot at the end of the stick!

BTW, this is on top of knowing your why. As I’ve mentioned before it’s important to know your why, your core driver. The underlying motivation (mine being my children and setting an example for them).

And I implore you to find your why for getting fitter, stronger healthier and happier.

Once you know that the next step is to direct it.

Meaningless exercise or dieting, things that you don’t enjoy will seldom last.

But if you put in place something to work towards that will give you focus and clarity. Then you’ll find the work easier.

Having a goal in place, or a milestone (whatever sporting pursuit/activity it is) is super powerful.

It will give you focus plus an all important deadline. Without a deadline you’ll never push yourself to execute said task.

Every year I’ve put in place a pursuit/event. A marathon. A weight lifting comp. A bodybuilding competition. A mountaineering expedition.

This gives me direction and clarity. This means my training never seems Sisyphean. Because I know that I’m working towards something.

Once you know your why and you give yourself a goal. You’ll have that clarity.

Then you’ll be unstoppable.

How you can reach your goals

Most people don’t know how to reach their goals or realise their true potential.

They think if they do this, a bit of that, then some more of this that magically whatever they want will fall in their lap.

That’s not how it works!

You see, there’s only one thing that must change (if you want to achieve a predetermined goal that you’ve set for yourself).

Your habits!

Take fitness as an example:

The vast majority of guys who want to get in shape will go the gym.

They go for a while and assume that one day they’ll wake up looking like Arnold in his prime. Or Brad Pitt in Fight Club (whichever floats their boat).

They put no conscious thought into changing their habits.

They won’t adjust their eating habits. And they’ll remain ignorant about their stress levels.

And a short while of after not seeing their desired results they’ll quit.

What I work on with my clients is getting them to focus on their HABITS, not their goals.

Their habits are will get them them to their goal.

I cannot stress enough the importance of your habits and routine.

Do they match your goals?

If someone looked at what you do each day would they be able to accurately guess what you’re trying to achieve?

Andrew

The Fitness Gentleman

P.S. If you feel as though you are ready to move the mental roadblocks stopping you from strengthening your body and your mindset so you can reach your goals. I invite you to a Free Discovery Call here where we can have a chat about your goals and how you can go about achieving them.

How to get fitter.

One of the most important books I’ve read is Atomic Habits by James Clear.

It cemented the benefits of having a daily routine. And how important our habits are.

For example, so many people say things like:

“I want to have more money”, “I want to lose weight” or “gain some kind of result.”

The truth is your bank account is a lagging measure of your finnacial habits.

Your weight is a lagging measure of your eating habits.

Your fitness is a lagging measure of your exercise habits.

Your knowledge is a lagging measure of your learning and reading habits.

And we get it wrong when we think the thing that needs to change is the bank account, the test score or the number on the scale.

Actually the things that need to change are the habits that proceed those outcomes.

You come to realise that your habits reinforce a particular identity.

Sometimes this can be positive and sometimes it can be negative.

The story could be things like ‘Im bad at math’ or ‘I’m terrible with people’s names’. It’s an internal story that you tell yourself.

And each time you have an experience it reinforces that. The story gets solidified.

The takeaway here is that every action you take is a vote for the type of person you become.

And if you can master the right actions, if you can master the right habits

Then you start to cast votes for this new identity, the desired person you want to become.

This is why small habits matter so much, they don’t transform your life overnight.

One workout or healthy meal does not transform your body. But it does cast a vote for being the type of person who doesn’t miss workouts and eats healthy.

Over time these votes compound. And as Einstein said:

‘Compounding is the eighth wonder of the world.’

The goal is not to run a race or complete a sporting pursuit. The goal is to become an athlete.

Once you’ve adopted that identity, you’re not looking to change anymore.

You’re merely acting in alignment with the type of person you see yourself as.

True behaviour change is identity change.

Once you change that internal story it get’s easier to show up each day.

Motivation becomes irrelevant.

It’s just who you are.

You vs The Monkey

Most guys know what to do but aren’t doing it.

This is why your health and fitness isn’t an information problem, it’s an implementation problem.

This means it’s less about the method and more about the mindset.

What you need to realize is, that making a transformation, one that will have you looking and feeling at your best. Is achieved through discipline.

I’m not talking about being perfect 24/7.

I’m saying that the majority of the decisions you make need to be in line with your goal. And the ones that aren’t don’t undo the work you’ve done.

It comes down to an internal battle between you and your monkey brain.

You see the monkey brain wants you to relax and take the easy option.

The monkey brain has a penchant for fornication, debauchery and immediate pleasure.

Do things that will provide it with stimulus and excitement (although they won’t be challenging or uncomfortable). This is why it’s so easy to plicate.

But after a while, of giving in to these cravings they leave you feeling a little hollow and disappointed.

Because once again you’ve been persuaded by the monkey. Who has led you astray.

Yeah, it was fun and you had a good laugh but that monkey has led you so far off course you’re now a bit lost.

You’re stumbling around trying to get back to the correct path. Cursing yourself for giving in to the petulant primate. Who keeps distracting you from not doing what you said you were going to do.

Frustrated you didn’t have the discipline to ignore that wretched beast and his easy enticements.

The thing is when you start out with addressing this the monkey brain, it isn’t a cute little Capuchin. No no no it’s an adult silverback gorilla.

It’s so powerful. You feel almost helpless when it comes to stopping it from doing what it wants.

But when you have a plan and some accountability that sees you build your discipline.

That is when you’ll start to see that monkey shrink. And so to its power over you. All the way until you have only a cute little Pygmy Marmoset to deal with.

It is at this point that you’ll be at your best. You’ll be doing what you should be doing. Not what the monkey wants you to.

Which is how you get you to that place where you have the energy and confidence that you’re after. And built the discipline that will permeate all areas of your life.

Plus the added satisfaction that comes from knowing that you’ve bettered that pesky monkey!

Want to find out more about improving your vitality, confidence and performance?

Click here

How to build motivation

When I talk to people about High Performance, sometimes the word “motivation” comes up.

“I’ve tried all kinds of diets and fitness regimens,” they might say.

Shortly followed by “but I can never seem to keep up the motivation.”

The reality is High Performance has nothing to do with motivation. It’s definitely not the magic key that unlocks your potential. As so many online gurus would have you believe.

High Performance is formed from the process of building habits. Specific actions in your daily routine linked to your goals.

It’s about pursuing your potential for yourself and those that matter most.

It requires a plan, a roadmap, that sees you fine tune your actions. It’s not something you do overnight.

Think about what athletes do (some I’ve coached). They follow a specialized training program. Designed to improve their physical, psychological, technical skill set.

They support their training with habits such as getting restful and restorative sleep. They eat nutritious foods, build mental resilience through mindfulness, and foster supportive relationships.

Notice that motivation wasn’t mentioned once.

That’s because motivation is unreliable. And if you rely on it you are going to be inconsistent with your actions.

Long-term success is built upon small daily actions that move the you closer to your goal.

Modern neuroscience even demonstrates that from these small progressions you’ll be internally rewarded. Through a built-in neurochemical mechanism.

You don’t need superhuman motivation to elevate your performance (because it doesn’t exist).

The process isn’t reserved for gold medallists or billionaire entrepreneurs. All you need is a desire to pursue your potential.

If that’s something you’re interested in click here.