confidence Archives - Andrew Shaw

confidence

Cultivate a different relationship with your emotions

Cultivate a different relationship with your emotions.

Emotions are visitors, they come and go.

You could compare them to people that knock on your door.

You open the door and you meet a nice person and you have a pleasant chat.

Over time you cultivate a friendship with this person. And you invite them in.

That’s what we do with positive emotions.

Now imagine one day you open the door to an entity, something evil.

You slam the door shut because you’re afraid.

The next day is interesting.

You hope the nice person shows up, but you fear the entity might make an appearance.

(The entity being negative emotions).

And over time, we cultivate different relationships with the different emotions.

With the nice emotions we form a friendship.

And with the negative emotions we adopt a negative stance, an avoidance, to keep them out.

We embrace the positive and push away the negative.

Here’s the thing. Until you open the door to the negative (the entity) and invite them in, they’ll always be there.

Inviting them in doesn’t mean you’ll have a good time together, that’s not the aim.

It’s about the relationship.

You invite them in. You offer them a seat. And you listen to them.

And once you’ve listen to them they’ll probably walk out.

Cultivate a different relationship with your negative emotions! Rather than trying to reduce their intensity or occurrence.

Negativity will show up now and then, sooner, later, always.

It’s ok to feel it, and it’s important you do.

Take this first step, even a tiny opening of the door.

Otherwise the entity will keep standing there.

And you’ll fret about it knocking on the door. To a point where you start panicking. Turning off the lights, locking door and boarding it up.

You create a fear of fear. A cycle.

But when you take this first step. You’ll notice you’re no longer afraid of that feeling.

They’ll no longer hold you back from doing what you want to do. And what you need to do to improve your life.

career goals, confidence, discipline, exercise, habits, Performance goals, sleep, stress

4 reasons you’re not doing what you need to

Hello *|FNAME|*,

Have you ever thought to yourself?

‘why when it comes to the 11th hour can I not make the right decision and do what I need to do?’

you know this would benefit your self improvement and wellbeing

but instead you do something else that distracts you and steers you further from your goal.

The reason why comes down to several things:

1. Your reliance on motivation

Permanent motivation is a fantasy. No one is always motivated!

If you’re conjuring up an image of someone in your head. They’re not, it’s a misconception.

You might even perceive me as someone who is motivated. I’m not!

My motivation is fleeting at best. I’ve made my peace with not being motivated for protracted periods, and yes I seize it when it’s there.

But motivation only makes the task a little easier, it’s not the determining factor of whether I do what I need to.

My point is this..

…the majority of the time I don’t feel like doing what I need to. But I crack on regardless.

Because I’ve built my discipline and increased my self control.

Plus, I’ve cultivated a routine and environment that doesn’t test my urges, a ‘Ulysses contract’ if you would. So I’m not getting distracted.

That’s not to say I don’t experience temptation and the lure of distraction. I do.

But I’m able to fend it off by acknowledging the distraction.

Then I hear the voice of Gold Five from Star Wars telling me to ‘Stay on target’ and I swat the temptation away like an annoying mosquito.

So I stay focused on the task, present with what I’m doing. Giving it my full attention.

2. Hardwiring

We human beings have some outdated programming.

Our operating systems are running the command: avoid pain, seek pleasure.

Whilst this programming was beneficial for us in the Palaeolithic era (to keep you alive). In the modern era it’s become detrimental to your wellbeing.

We live in an environment where food, fornication, stimulants, amusements are abundant.

This constant drive for pleasure, this archaic programming, is now self destructive.

Companies have tapped into this pleasure drive and are selling you products to appease it.

(which is insidious because they profit as you perish).

There’s now so much pleasure immediately available we’re over consuming. And it’s making us weaker and unhappier.

But you can help yourself. You can recognise the outdated pleasure command and start re coding your mind.

Enter this:

}
partake in activities (that bring) {
short term pain(and long term gain);
}
}

3. Irrelevant goals

Ask yourself; is it actually your goal or are you going along with the masses?

Are you confusing society’s goals with your own? ‘Keeping up with the Jones’. Upgrading your lifestyle but never stopping to ask yourself:

‘if I didn’t care about what others thought, would I still have this as a goal? Or have I been caught up in the facade that I need x because they have it?

When we’re not doing the things that improve our human experience (the things that enhance our wellbeing) we’ll distract ourselves.

We’ll start looking to others. Making comparisons with people who we shouldn’t be. Forming goals and desires based on what they’ve got.

Reminder: if the grass seems greener it’s usually because you haven’t been watering your side!

but these desires are usually superficial.

And here’s the kicker; with superficial goals come superficial rewards.

Happy on the outside (what’s shown to others), but unfulfilled on the inside.

So dig deep and do what you want to do. If it’s different to the herd’s ideal then you’re on the right track!

4. Absence of a routine

Do you find your days are pretty much you performing random tasks based on how you feel?

Or tasks other people have given you because you have no plans of your own?

This is the definition of operating on a whim.

Without a plan, a routine, you’ll experience inconsistence.

Here’s where a routine would be beneficial.

Before you open your calendar and start inputting tasks to fill your time.

I’ve found the best way to go about this is to reverse engineer your goal.

Start off with your purpose, which is your North Star, your direction to follow. This is important because when you have purpose, what you’re doing will mean more to you.

Then you’ll need to set a goal. It’s one thing to know your purpose, but how will you go about fulfilling it?

Set a goal that’s tangible. Make it big, make it specific and give it a deadline.

Now you know your purpose and you know how to realize it (with your goal). You need to know how to get there.

This is why having a plan is important. It allows you to break your goal down. All the way to daily actions.

After that you build habits. Habits are systems and processes for your life. They ease the smooth running of your day. Most of the time you’ll do them automatically.

Achieving your goal is inevitable when you transfer actions from your plan into habits.

Voila.

Speak soon

Andrew

confidence, discipline

To the Himalayas and back

Hello,

It has been a while, 3 weeks to be exact.

The reason for my brief hiatus. Well, for the first time in years I took a complete break from work.

To take some time to myself (which is rare these days).

So I put myself in an environment where I was well and truly ‘off the grid’.

I did this as I realised that on previous holidays I’d find myself working.

My family would be by the pool or on the beach and I’d sneak off back to the hotel room to check emails or messages.

Not conducive to relaxation and by doing so misses the point of the holiday.

But on this break working was out of the question. No room for a laptop and the Wi-Fi in the Himalayas is sketchy to non existent!

So this was a proper holiday.

Although on reflection calling it a holiday would be far fetched.

Because when you’re away for several weeks in a place where there’s:

*No hot water (sometimes no water)

*Sporadic electricity availability

*Little sleep allowance

*-20 degree nights

*No toilets (well, a bucket inside a small tent/a hole in the ground).

*And the average day of hiking circa 15km across varied terrain. That ranged from uphill to very steep (‘Nepali flat’ as our guides called it).

You can’t call it a holiday.

I’d call it a break.

Another challenge to put me out of my comfort zone.

And this was by far the most punishing of all my challenges to date.

What I did find was, because this challenge took place in an inhospitable environment,

where everyday I’d wake up with a mind bending headache.

Knowing I was over 500miles away from my family.

Fully aware that everyday was going to be a slog and that I had to rely on myself to get through it.

You become more resilient, and your resolve is strengthened.

Problems and stresses that were all encompassing at home now seemed trivial.

Normal holiday concerns like;

Which restaurant will we dine at tomorrow.

Do I spend a day by the pool or at the beach?

Were replaced by:

Do I have enough water?

Why is my heart racing?

Am I having an asthma attack? (most nights)

When is my next meal coming?

There were no luxuries, no room service, no comforts.

You’re taken right down to the bottom of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.

A real test of discipline and resilience. That took me to my physical and mental limits.

The physical limits were battling against altitude. Which pushes you down as you try and climb higher.

And the mental challenges were things like:

Unzipping myself from a frost covered sleeping bag in the middle of the night. Putting on a head torch then clothing and boots. Leaving the tent to walk 100meters over rocky terrain to the toilet. All the while knowing that, although rare, Snow leopards operated in the area!

And also making my peace with a freezing cold shower knowing that it might be the last for some days.

This was the status quo for 2 weeks whilst we trekked higher and higher. A slow and steady ascent to give us the best possible chance to adjust to the altitude.

The effects of which nothing could prepare you for!

I’m telling you now – I was as prepared as I could have been with my health and fitness. Although the altitude still bent me in half!

And although I was able to overcome the altitude sickness. The same couldn’t be said for everyone in the group.

It was devastating for those who’d succumb to it and had to be evacuated by rescue helicopter.

Knowing that was the end of their expedition and their goal of reaching the Summit.

Yet this pales in significance to what I’m about to tell you.

On the Sunday after returning to camp after our summit of Lobuche. We sat down in our dining tent for our celebratory dinner.

Everyone was in good spirits. We were elated. After all we had all Summited the Mountain.

Drinks were flowing, music was playing it was a great atmosphere.

But half way through the festivities one of the members of the 2nd expedition team came into the tent.

He apologised for his interruption and said that he didn’t want to ruin the celebrations.

But he thought it best we knew..

…one of their group had passed away a few hours ago!

He told us that shortly after leaving camp on their push for the summit the guy had complained of chest pain.

The guide with the group told him to return to camp and rest in his tent.

That was the last time anyone would see him alive.

Several hours later, on returning from the summit. The person sharing his tent made the harrowing discovery. He alerted everyone and efforts were made to revive him

Although it was too late.

He had passed several hours before.

The mood in the dining tent went from jubilation to sorrow.

The news hit us all hard.

It brought home the stark reality; that we were all very fortunate.

And we’d been spared by this cruel and unforgiving environment.

In light of the news we delayed our plans to leave high camp that afternoon and stayed for one more night at high camp.

We were told that the Sherpa’s would carry the deceased to the helipad in the morning. And after that we would make our descent to Pheriche.

I remember walking out of high camp feeling very emotional. Taking one last look at the mountain. Feeling very fortunate to be leaving high camp and on my way home.

With objective 1 achieved (Summit Lobuche East) objective 2 (Make it home) was now in play.

One of the members of the group quoted to me on the trek:

‘until you make it down to the bottom, you belong to the mountain.‘

That reverberated in my head all the while we were climbing down from high camp.

I became more cautious with my footing. More vigilant about the surroundings.

All my focus was on getting home.

The tragedy had definitely made me more attentive and respectful to the environment.

A few days later we arrived in Lukla and The Tenzing-Hillary Airport. This was the last part of the expedition.

Flying out of the World’s most dangerous airport.

This airport has its runway laid out on a cliffside between mountains. When I say runway we’re talking only 1,729 feet of it. Dropping straight into an abyss at the end.

Although this is nothing you can worry about. The responsibility is out of your hands and in those of the pilot’s and the plane.

All you can do is enjoy the ride.

I found the safety talk from the air hostess particularly amusing.

She stood hunched over in the tiny fuselage and informed the 10 of us where the emergency exits were.

All the while I was thinking to myself that any impact at all would see this toy plane disintegrate. And emergency exits wouldn’t be an issue.

Thankfully the plane held together and we landed safely at Rammechap airport. Ready for the next ordeal. A minibus transfer through the hills that made you feel like you were on one of those virtual reality rides.

Sheer drops, questionable overtaking manoeuvres, animals in the road. And potholes that could be mistaken for meteor strikes. All added to the excitement of this white knuckle ride.

Thankfully the blessing I received in Dingbouche from a Lama a few days before our climb was holding. And we made it to Kathmandu.

Kathmandu aka the place the Health & Safety daren’t step foot. Was the final destination of the expedition. Our arrival there marked the end of our travels.

Finally I could relax in this chaotic and stunning location. Knowing that tomorrow I’d be on a plane home having achieved my objectives.

career goals, confidence, discipline, habits, Performance goals, stress, weight loss

The day you became a successful man

In a society hellbent on being successful nobody ever stops to think about what success is.

Most guys don’t know what success means to them.

All they know is; they want to be successful, so they pursue the things they think that success entails.

Shaped on societies definition, what social media, TV and media tell them it is.

Blinkered by the superficial and oblivious to the fundamental.

They pursuit superficial goals and wind up leading empty lives.

Bereft of integrity. Devoid of authenticity.

Driving a fancy car to a job they hate.

Returning home to a loveless home.

Backloading their life plans for ‘someday’ that never comes.

Exhausted from the poor habits they’ve picked up.

And broken by the stress they’ve chosen not to deal with.

From the outside it looks like Nirvana

But on the inside it’s a sesspit of misery.

That’s why it’s not success…

…if you’ve neglected yourself in the process!

If the means has only been to justify the end.

Then you’ve missed the point!

Real success comes from embracing the process.

Tests of resolve, the forging of confidence, improving oneself physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Having a sense of fulfillment from your livlihood, your purpose.

A loving relationship, raising a family and being a strong rolemodel.

Everything else is just noise.

career goals, confidence, discipline, habits, High performance

How to get over fear

The common misconception is that you shouldn’t be afraid when it comes to taking action.

Especially with something that takes you outside of your comfort zone.

When you mention to someone that you want to do something. But you’re scared about doing it. They’ll give you some well intentioned, but terrible advice, like;

‘Don’t be afraid’ or ‘There’s nothing to be scared of’.

Because most people work on the assumption that you can turn fear off. And high achieving people have no fear because they’ve turned it off.

This is why fear is one of our most misunderstood emotions.

Which is a shame, because it holds so many people back from achieving their goals.

So I would like to help you understand fear.

You need to understand that the Palaeolithic software that our minds are running, is skewed towards fear.

Back in the day (hunter gatherer) fear was a more valuable emotion.

The cavemen that were fearful of the large shadow is the long grass. Lasted a lot longer than those caveman who weren’t that fussed.

The fearful would avoid the situation their ‘spidy senses’ alerted them to.

Whereas those that were fearless became the lunch of some prehistoric beast. And their genes would be unapologetically weeded out out of existence.

Which meant our ancestors survived, procreated and passed on their fear driven operating system.

Which means that fear will never go away.

It waits in the bushes for you!

And as soon as you try something outside of your comfort zone fear pops up. The red light that sees you jump on the brakes. And you stop yourself.

It feels like an automatic reaction. Like something you have no control over.

And after enough times of experiencing this, you form the belief of ‘I can’t do it because I’m afraid’.

Or ‘if I’m afraid, something’s not right and I shouldn’t do it’.

Here’s where I’m going to ask you to address what you currently understand about fear.

So you can get over it and start taking action!

When you’re about to do something outside of your comfort zone. It’s completely normal that fear pounces!

In fact it would be weird if you didn’t experience fear in that scenario. The absence of it means you likely have some abnormality.

(Or your ancestors where one of those Laissez–faire cavemen who luckily made it through).

I used to give into the fear a lot.

Over the years I missed out on countless opportunities from capitulating to this archaic software.

I’d find myself stuck. Wanting to take action, but too afraid.

Until someone helped me think about it differently.

Which changed everything!

And with this mindset I began doing things that fear had previously stopped me from doing.

Then as I became more confident with my updated software I started testing myself. Doing things to evoke the fear and see how easy I could push past it.

I took on the fear of being in front of a crowd of people wearing only my underwear (that all too familiar nightmare). Through doing a bodybuilding competition. Which saw me in shorts on stage in front of hundreds of people.

I got over my fear of swimming in the sea or any open water (probably from watching Jaws too young). Through open water swimming.

My fear of a getting in a fight through Boxing and Judo.

My fear of speaking in front of people through public speaking arrangements.

I was terrified before all of those events, but then I took that first step.

On to the stage,

into the lake,

into the ring

and soon onto the mountains (to take on my fear of heights).

Because as I’ve come to learn. As soon as you to take action…

…fear disappears!

And thanks to this new mindset I recognise that fear doesn’t mean I have to stop.

Because it’s not a red light…

…it’s an amber light!

And you have a choice to make when it appears.

You can stop which means the light goes red.

Or you can give yourself a green light and start doing the things you want to do!

The Disciplined Man 90 Day Coaching Program

confidence, discipline, motivation

Why motivation is hurting your progress

When people ask me ‘how do you stay motivated?’ It tell them ‘I don’t!’

When they ask me ‘how do you build motivation?’ I tell them ‘you don’t!’

I might sound like I’m unenthused or pessimistic but I can assure you I’m not.

I say this to help people understand that motivation is actually hindering them.

I’ll explain.

When your workouts are a war.

Your mindfulness exercises a fight.

Your imposed bedtimes a battle.

And your healthy food choices a struggle.

It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.

If you’re under some impression that you should be motivated to do these things and this inner conflict is something unique to you…

…you’re wrong!

You’re are no different to anyone else. Everyone has the ‘Monkey’ in their head.

The Monkey’s job is to convince you to not do what you should be doing. And he’ll propose doing something easier, more exciting instead.

When this Monkey is absent, taking a bit of R&R. Recharging his batteries, before returning to once again stop you pursuing your goals…

…is when you’ll experience bouts of productivity and action. (You’re free from the Monkey’s powerful persuasion to Netflix and Chill.)

But when he’s back, that’s when the battle arises.

And right now it’s not a competition…

…he’s winning every time!

The Monkey is too strong and persuasive. He knows every trick in the book to stop you taking action towards your goal.

And exactly which buttons to press to re route you away from your dream.

He’s louder, stronger and his option is way more compelling.

And this is my problem with Motivation

It isn’t a compelling drive…

…it’s an absence of The Monkey.

And it’s how you’re currently operating.

Long periods of inactivity, interspliced with spurts of effort. (When the Monkey is taking annual leave (he doesn’t take much, he’s very dedicated to his job!)).

This is why motivation is not something to rely on!

People that are consistent with taking action know this.

Instead they rely on a routine. And over time they’ve strengthened their discipline to adhere to their routine.

To a point where they can overpower the Monkey every time. And force it into it’s cage (it’s not cruel, it’s a fictional metaphor).

Enabling them to take the action necessary to progress.

They don’t need to wait until their Monkey is away to take action.

And it’s this consistent action that sees them achieve their goal.

So if you need help with achieving confidence and focus to achieve your goals. Through the development of a good habits and routine.

Check out my Program The Disciplined Man

body goal, career goals, confidence, discipline, habits, motivation

5 steps to achieving your goals

When it comes to achieving your goals consistency is the secret sauce. But it’s an acquired taste.

Here are 5 ways to consistently take action and get what you want.

If you are always setting goals but never achieving them you need to read this!

You’ve been led to believe that you should be motivated. And whoever is the most motivated wins.

It’s bullshit!

The truth is, those that succeed consistently take action regardless of how they feel about doing it.

Motivation may get you started but it’s consistency that will see you finish!

1. Small steps

The theory is simple:

Follow this plan for x amount of weeks and get results.

The reality is hard:

You’re struggling to keep it going for more than a few days.

Start off with the minimum effective dose.

Do the least amount of work that will result in progression.

Once you’re consistent with that amount then you can add more.

2. Acceptance

What you want is on the other side of the things you don’t want to do.

We live in a the digital age where stimulation is only a click away; Nirvana for the monkey brain.

This need for things to be exciting is counter productive.

Get comfortable with doing the uncomfortable/ boring things.

Make peace with the fact that there will be things you dislike doing on a daily basis.

If you imagine that happening 1,000 times in a row all of a sudden it becomes immaterial.

Because it’s expected. You know it’s going to happen every single day. You’re mentally prepared.

3. Your success/failure is found in your routine (or absence of one).

Until you’re consistent you won’t be able to tell is its working or not.

Without a routine you’ll be stuck on a plateau, constantly taking one step forward then one step back.

The greatest routine will feature these habits:

Consistent waking time
Early morning sunlight
Early cardio
Nutritious meals
Being in nature
Walking
Weight lifting
Journaling
A bedtime routine
Consistent bedtime

4. Become a Time Lord

Once I replaced:

TV with Online learning.

Radio with Audible.

Netflix with exercise.

The news with writing.

My productivity went to a whole new level.

From making these swaps I improved my wellbeing created more time and made use of dead time.

5. Make it emotive

Make sure you know why you are working towards your goal.

What bigger purpose is your goal a part of?

If it’s important enough then you’ll have an endless reserve of energy that you can tap into when needed.

Reframe your actions as ‘musts’ not ‘shoulds’ i.e. ‘I must do x so I can achieve my goal, which is serving my purpose.’

6. Bonus; Accountability

It’s all too easy to let yourself off the hook!

Be accountable to someone!

The American Society of Training and Development found that if you commit to someone.

And you have regular accountability appointments with that person.

You will increase your chance of success by up to 95%.

career goals, confidence, discipline, exercise, habits, Performance goals, sleep, weight loss

How to improve the quality of your life

To achieve this you need to improve your habits. I’ll explain why.

Years ago I was caught in the ‘lottery win’ mindset.

I convinced myself that overnight success was the result of some windfall. A brush with good fortune.

This was the reason people had aquired their life situation.

What didn’t help was that the media, movies and tabloids would all cement this notion.

But as time passed and I started researching, reading, experimenting. And speaking to the most revered in my industry (people who had achieved great levels of success). I began to form a different hypothesis.

One that was at the other end of the spectrum to ‘overnight success’.

That it takes a lot of time for overnight success to occur. It is actually the culmination of months or years of work.

It’s the small efforts repeated daily that led to a better quality of life.

I’m talking about the small actions that we don’t even think about, because they are habitual. The decisions we make in autopilot mode.

But these are the decisions that shape our future.

So how do we address them? And improve the quality of our lives?

Well, there are some steps, 4 actually. Steps that you can climb up to make change inevitable.

1. The first step is the unconscious incompetence stage.

This is when we’re making bad decisions and we aren’t even aware we’re doing it.

We just know that things aren’t working out.

Here’s were something as being cognisant can help. Bringing tracking into the equation. For our sleep, our diet, our exercise and our stress.

‘that sounds like a lot of time‘. I hear you say.

‘Oh contrare mon frère’.

It’s no extra time! – you’re already doing this stuff so you just record at the time.

After this you’ll then enter into the next stage which is

3. The conscious incompetence.

You start to look at the actual decision and data. It makes it clear.

This is where you are aware that you’re not making optimal decions

You can see that you’re not adhering to the plan you have, if you even have a plan.

You can see where poor choices are actually hindering you.

This is the ‘wow I didn’t realise I was having that many calories’

or ‘I thought I was getting more sleep than that’.

‘Maybe I could cancel my gym membership because I’ve only been once this month’

and the classic – ‘this app can’t be working right’.

It is, and they are! Your ego is just having a hard time coming to terms with your choices.

Remember our thoughts are not the truth but rather stories that we get caught up in!

This is the cold hard truth slapping you across the face, the reality punch to the gut!

An uncomfortable period where you realise things are not as they seem. Or rather as you ‘believed’

Quickly moving on to the next stage 🙂

3. The conscious competence stage

This is where your decisions are improving. Due to some changes you’ve implemented (through self or professional guidance).

You’re making better decisions. But they’re not automatic yet. It still requires effort and discipline to make these decisions.

This is a nice stage as you can actually see change occurring with your actions. You feel good from making better decisions.

4. Then you arrive at the unconscious competence stage.

After enough time in the previous stage. These new benficial life changing decisions become automatic.

You’ve likely amended or introduced a routine which makes actions habitual. And in this ascension you’ve form a new identity.

You see yourself as the person who eats healthy, goes to the gym, gets 8 hours sleep. And is relaxed from practicing mindfulness exercises.

You’re energetic and ethused. You have more clarity and you’re making better decisions as this 2.0 version of you.

Which stage are you in?

career goals, confidence, discipline, habits, motivation, Performance goals, sleep, stress

How I found my purpose

I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you why I do what I do.

The genesis of becoming a health consultant.

It wasn’t a result of happenstance. It stemmed from an event that occurred in my formative years.

At the time my dad had a senior job in the city which saw him start very early and finish very late.

I didn’t see all that much of him. Some times at the weekend but those periods were fleeting.

This seemed to be the norm for the schooling part of my life.

And over time this high pressure senior role took its toll on him.

His energy levels declined, his stress increased and he was having more doctors appointments.

They were concerned with his health.

Turns out that chronic high stress, zero activity. A diet that resembled a 5 year olds birthday party. And a bullfrogs sleep routine wasn’t all that conducive to a healthy living.

Who knew?!

Reality hit home when the cardiologist said that with without open heart surgery a cardiac event was imminent!

It wasn’t a choice. It was an ultimatum. Surgery or you’ll be shuffling off this mortal coil!

It seemed like only days later he was checked in to hospital.

They opened him up and veins were taken from various other parts of his body and replaced those blocked ones around his heart.

That’s what I was told anyway, this period in my life was a bit blurry.

Although I do remember, very vividly, coming home after school – and finding myself alone a fair bit.

As my mum would be at his bedside at the hospital.

I’d make meals for myself and my mum for when she would return late at night.

It was all a bit surreal. And I didn’t understand the severity of the situation. Not until I went to visit my dad.

I remember it was one of the first times I’d been into the City.

Everything was overwhelming, the amount of people, the buildings the noise and the pace of it all.

Several hours had past in what felt like only a few minutes. And we had reached the station adjacent the hospital.

I remember walking in to the ward and seeing my dad.

I barely recognised him

When I sat down beside him I remember being asked questions by the doctor and nurses.

Light hearted chit chat they’d developed from years of developing a bedside manner.

But I didn’t respond. I could muster any words. My mum had to respond for me. As I was transfixed on my dad.

You know when you feel yourself come out of yourself, in a malaise?! That sort of thing.

I was starring at the person that was lying there in the hospital bed hooked up to the machines, and wiring.

It was almost like he wasn’t a human but part of a machine.

The Doctors and my mum trying to lighten the mood. Regaling me with stories of his projectile vomiting post surgery.

But this didn’t permeate the trance I was in.

I remember feeling numb.

And then I felt anger. Angry that this had happened

That he’d let this happen, that he’d chose this.

It wasn’t an unfortunate set of circumstances or genetics

It was the choices he’d made compounded over time that had culminated in this.

This fucked up situation where I didn’t know if he was coming home or not.

I remember the cessation of our visit and being prompted to say goodbye by my mum. Walking through the hospital wing towards the elevator.

I remember this very clearly. Because that was the defining moment.

It was when I told myself ‘that was not going to happen to me’.

That it was on me to look after myself. I must learn from other peoples mistakes as well as my own.

And my dad was exhibit A.

It felt like this experience had knocked me out of the status quo lifestyle that everyone was living. And into a parallel dimension running alongside it.

An Anthropological dimension. From which I would extrapolate societal norms and collate information.

Whilst doing this I started to realise that it wasn’t just my dad that was in poor health.

It was my friend’s dads too.

And men I was hearing about in the news (back when I used to read/watch it). So many men were struggling.

But no one was talking about the elephant in the room.

Everyone was accepting it as the norm. I suppose when everyone is sick it’s no longer considered a disease.

Fast forward man years from then to today.

I look back at this experience and whilst it was difficult and frustrating at the time.

I was also grateful that I had gone through it.

Because I had found my purpose; to save men from themselves.

To help them develop the discipline they need. To elude the temptations of modern living (which have become the imperceptible demise of men).

It’s this purpose that gets me up in the morning and keeps me going late in the evening.

I’ve become more enthused about efficiency, productivity and lifestyle habits. Because I need the energy to to propel me through the day and work on my mission.

And the beauty of it; the things I do to work on my purpose are self perpetuating. They give me more energy.

Not only that but the job satisfaction I get from.

Helping others to have more energy, and manage their health so they can give 100% to their passion, is incredible.

Knowing they’ve made an important transition in their life and set an important example for the children they’re raising.

Here’s a testimonial from one of my clients, Alex:

Not only has Andy helped my physical health (I’ve managed to lose 10 kg in 3 months), he’s helped my mental health too.

His constant praise, encouragement and holding me accountable for my actions has meant I’m now more motivated and active.

I’ve started writing a book I’ve been wanting to write for ages, and now feel like I have more time and energy to pursue other interests.

I’m even starting to feel better about myself whenever I see a mirror. I’ve even seen some photos of me recently that I haven’t instantly hated 🙂

Given my time again, I would hire Andy in a heartbeat.

confidence, discipline, exercise, High performance, Performance goals, time management

You vs The Monkey

Most guys know what to do but aren’t doing it.

This is why your health and fitness isn’t an information problem, it’s an implementation problem.

This means it’s less about the method and more about the mindset.

What you need to realize is, that making a transformation, one that will have you looking and feeling at your best. Is achieved through discipline.

I’m not talking about being perfect 24/7.

I’m saying that the majority of the decisions you make need to be in line with your goal. And the ones that aren’t don’t undo the work you’ve done.

It comes down to an internal battle between you and your monkey brain.

You see the monkey brain wants you to relax and take the easy option.

The monkey brain has a penchant for fornication, debauchery and immediate pleasure.

Do things that will provide it with stimulus and excitement (although they won’t be challenging or uncomfortable). This is why it’s so easy to plicate.

But after a while, of giving in to these cravings they leave you feeling a little hollow and disappointed.

Because once again you’ve been persuaded by the monkey. Who has led you astray.

Yeah, it was fun and you had a good laugh but that monkey has led you so far off course you’re now a bit lost.

You’re stumbling around trying to get back to the correct path. Cursing yourself for giving in to the petulant primate. Who keeps distracting you from not doing what you said you were going to do.

Frustrated you didn’t have the discipline to ignore that wretched beast and his easy enticements.

The thing is when you start out with addressing this the monkey brain, it isn’t a cute little Capuchin. No no no it’s an adult silverback gorilla.

It’s so powerful. You feel almost helpless when it comes to stopping it from doing what it wants.

But when you have a plan and some accountability that sees you build your discipline.

That is when you’ll start to see that monkey shrink. And so to its power over you. All the way until you have only a cute little Pygmy Marmoset to deal with.

It is at this point that you’ll be at your best. You’ll be doing what you should be doing. Not what the monkey wants you to.

Which is how you get you to that place where you have the energy and confidence that you’re after. And built the discipline that will permeate all areas of your life.

Plus the added satisfaction that comes from knowing that you’ve bettered that pesky monkey!

Want to find out more about improving your vitality, confidence and performance?

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